Decisions, decisions...

Today I hesitantly went to a moms group that is held at our church. I say hesitantly because the moms I occasionally spend time with do not attend these things and it is me going somewhere with some familiar faces and a bunch of new ones. I am always worried about being judged as a wife and a mother and even more as a person when I am around groups of moms. I think part of it is my want to work and not to be a stay at home mom, and I feel like most of them WANT to be stay at home moms. I love my son and enjoy spending time with him, but I am more than just his mom. That being said, I did enjoy myself. We will continue to go back and I will hopefully get to know the women better instead of seeing them as only moms. I need to learn that there are probably other moms out there, especially in our location, who would love to be at work, and providing for their family in other ways than raising their family. I try to stay true to who I am without sinking into mother and wife being my only roles. I love how much Cooper learned during his few years in the daycare and want that for our baby girl, but does that make me a bad mom for wanting other people to teach them those things. I love him and would do anything for them but what's the cost of them being in daycare?

I am itching for this baby to get here, not only because I can't wait to meet her, but so I can finally start my job hunt. Of course I am scared, I worry that I am getting too old to compete with other recent graduates and the little amount of related work experience I have for what I want to do. At this point, I am just hoping for something that pays well, I don't hate, and can get my foot in the door to lead to something that I will truly enjoy. Again then the issue of paying for two children in daycare. I think the expense of daycare is worth it for my own selfish reasons of wanting to work, but only as long as we are making enough money to justify the expense.

Then of course, I have been given the duty to decide where it is we will be moving to. I play to start applying for jobs as soon as the baby gets here, assuming I will hear something within the six week recovery period. After those six weeks, I will be able to move and get a head start on our new life outside of the military. So where is that magical location that will please us, our family, our friends, our career goals, our children's education needs? This is tricky. We can't please everyone to the fullest extent but we need to decide the importance of each variable and what we are and are not willing to sacrifice. I would love to be moving sometime in the month of May because that would mean I have a job lined up and hopefully at least a temporary home for us. My husband will follow me wherever I choose to go and that scares me. I hate having the decision based on me and where I find a job. It's so scary to think about it. I know he will find something where ever we end up and he has a lot more options than I do with his veteran benefits and education options. I have to work. I want to so that is okay, but at least he has options. Maybe this is where I should start my hunting. I am also free to suggestions. Our family is spread out all over the Midwest, but Iowa, Missouri, Kansas, and Ohio are the multiple family member locations!

Busy Busy Busy

The fall is simply the best! So far one trip to the apple orchard and lots of apple crisp in and out of our house! I hope to get back up there before the season is over (I guess it wasn't a great season and a lot of the farmers have some trees with no fruit this year). Then with a surprise trip to a pumpkin patch we have cut up and roasted those little scrumptious pumpkins and so far have only made pumpkin bread. I just love the way the house smells when these wonderful things are in the oven!

As for the sewing adventures, I have decided to make military uniform bags and will be selling them along side my other bags at our annual bazaar. I am really excited to have people see my stuff in person instead of photos!

As for the down side, our stupid washing machine has started making this awful grinding sound. Apparently when  I bought it, not even two years ago, it was a fairly new model and not too many reviews existed. I bought this GE King size top loading washer because of its large 4.1 cubic foot capacity and after reading the recent reviews, I found out a lot of people are having problems. There is a bracket inside that habitually bends and warps because the machine is big enough but not strong enough to handle large loads. So we had to order a part, thankfully only $30, and get it fixed. After its fixed we will have to run it at half the capacity in order to prevent the brackets from bending again. SO frustrating! Hopefully it holds us over until we can get a new one. I will not be buying a large purchase again with out making sure it is a good product. Lesson learned.